i love scotch  down into my belly unique new york  the arsensist has widely shaped feet

 cannonball  ladies and gentleman can i please have your attention  urgent and horrifying news story

 but also nickname my testes  my left one is james westfall and my right one is doctor kenneth noisewater  the answer is yes octagon play your cards right meet the whole gang

 whammy  champ here im all about having fun  couple cocktails seaworld

 i am polite and i am rarely late  people seem to like me i like to eat ice cream and a nice pair of slacks  years later a doctor will tell me i have an IQ of 48 and what some people call mentally retarded

 well hello you pointed to your boobies  she used to be a charger cheerleader but then she broke her pelvis  i got a big story for you and its right here oh my god you did

 you have an absolutely breathtaking hiney  hello i hope not disturbing you party  i mean that things good i want to be friends with it do you know who i am

 i am very important i have many leather bound books  i dont know how to put this but i am kind of a big deal  people know me my apartment smells of rich mahogney merlin olson on occassion

 i want to be on you  listen can i start over again  put it out there if you like it you can take if not you can send it right back

 you know how to cut the core of me baxter  your so wise your like a miniture buddha covered in hair  you know i dont speak spanish in english please

 oh i am sorry champ i think i ate your chocolate squirrel  i am hungover i woke up this morning and i shit a squirrel  down their in the office dont know what to name him

 i believe diversity is an old old wooden ship  what in the hell is diversity during  during the civil war era

 i dont know what we are yelling about  dont get me wrong i love the ladies but they dont belong in the news room  it is anchorman not anchor lady and that is a scientific fact she has beautiful eyes hair cinnamon

 hey where did you get those clothes at the toilet store  hello wes mantooth i did not know the salvation army was having a sale  am i right look at these guys

 chicken and some sex you know see what happens  let me just grab this oh sorry about that whammy  what can i say i like the way your put together

 i would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party  cough look over here thats it  very well alright lets go

 its called sex panther by odeon its illegal in nine countries  i will give this cookie an hour before we are doing the no pants dance  time to musk up she gets the special cologne quite pungent stings the nostrils studies dont make sense you know kitty pur

 you have a massive erection  this is not a date strictly professional im sorry its the pleats  optical illusion flattering the pants awkward dont act like your not impressed

 of course in german it means a whales vagina  scholars maintain the translation was lost hundreds of years ago  greatest city they named it san diego saint agree to disagree

 the coyote of the desert always likes to eat the heart of the young  tino best friend ever we have a saying in my country  dabble would everyone like to hear ron burgundy play jazz flute

 thats baby making music thats what that is ugh  im not hearing it right hold on  we got it now its alright a little ham and eggs people

 and she is quite a handful in the bedroom  today fashion curiosity did not kill the cat  she is really great we are currently dating you stay classy san diego

 when in rome  trying this new fad called jogging soft j apparently you just run for an extended period of time  ron is coming its the pancake breakfast we do it every month mirror

 lets make whoopie  and then i am going drinking with the news team for three days wonderful bite it  i spend all day cleaning your emmys and preparing dinner in the nude i love my life

 and you wont be invited  married on top of a mountain flutes playing herbs dance  our children will form a family band we will tear the country side

 thats how i roll  you destroyed my chopper easy compadre jack johnson and tom o leary  i love poetry glass of scotch my friend baxter

 because i have breasts exquisite breasts  this city needs its news whats it going to be i am good at three things  fighting screwing and reading the news

 im in a glass case of emotion  someone punted him let me say something where are you  [ emotional breakdown ]

 your a real hooker im going to slap you in public  way too much pubic hair point of pride man boobs  im going to punch in the ovary ouch jazz flute is for little ferry boyx

 no commercials no mercy  not so fast you ingrates punch drive to kick some ass  como estan bitches the sewers run red with burgundys blood bilingual bloodfest ground rules no touching of hair face

 and i killed a guy with a trident  boy that escalated quickly it jumped up a notch  yeah i stabbed a man in the heart killed trident relative wanted for murder vicious cockfight

 im not a baby im a man an anchorman  discovered the wheel build the eiffel tower with metal  small brain its science you are a smelly pirate hooker hoar island

 and im ron burgundy go fuck yourself san diego  nobody talks about my city that  nice work everyone sharp broadcast

 what were you saying something i dont speak spanish  im expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song  ive got no heart because a she devil stole worst part she is better than me times are changing ladies can do stuff

 if im going to do this i will need my news team by my side  you have always been a good friend assemble  ed i will be down there and im going to look good evening

 i immediately regret this decision  tough decision my career saving woman familial relations pickle  i know it sounds harsh but god does not want her to live its clear now we go into the bear pit these bears are massive